Tuesday, January 12, 2010
i took it all down because of a kneejerk reaction. i did it because it was a shortcut to knowing me that i didn't want someone to take. but now i find i don't really mind if she read it, just that i don't understand her response. she is not easy to fathom, but i think i must be.
i find myself assuming she took a thread from it and picked me immediately, derived my personality instantly, saw through it, found me a fraud. but maybe she didn't. i can't ask, and i won't know what she found. most likely, a momentary diversion. nothing of note.
but, reading back, i like it. i am proud of some of this. i want it here.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
you can find me at andafterwards.blogspot.com - invite only, please ask if you want to have a look (i may never get further than a beginning entry).
Thursday, August 20, 2009
i am thinking, i should write again -- not here, because -
although her interest has undoubtably waned - there might be others. but
things are fraught and strange - not always, but some days --
and it might help.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
so, i have a fairly good idea who reads this - not many people at all, certainly not these days. the problem is, people i know find it, and there's no way to tell whether they are crying with laughter...and that feels pretty weird.
this all seems so long ago and far away anyway - over two years since i wrote in it seriously. thank you to everybody who has been so nice to me, stay in touch - it just seems like a good idea to clean all of this up. i plan to sit down at the weekend and save the entries somewhere that's not on the interwebs....
putting this sort of thing in the public domain means people read it, and that's fine - this is something i've been meaning to do for a while (as melodramatic as it sounds). there are other ways of getting to know somebody, and other ways of sorting out my head.
so now that i've finished being conceited, i'll be seeing you all around ;)